Anniversary Grief: 3 Ways to Cope

After the loss of a loved one, the days and weeks leading up to an anniversary can be filled with unsettling feelings, thoughts, or memories. For me, today is Craig's 50th birthday. We had always assumed we would have the good fortune to grow old together. I never imagined Craig not turning 50 or trying to get through today without him.

Anniversary Grief, or "Anniversary Reaction", is the reawakened grief that is triggered by an anniversary or an event. In addition to the emotional response of sadness, anxiety, depression, loneliness, guilt, or anger, anniversary grief can also include physical symptoms, such as decreased appetite, difficulty falling asleep, difficulty sleeping, and difficulty staying asleep.

The anniversary of a loss, birthdays, holidays, the change of seasons, hearing a song, seeing a photo, or life events such as attending a wedding or graduation without your loved one, can all trigger anniversary grief.

On these special days, how do you deal with anniversary grief?

What can you do to feel better?

Make a plan. Share the special dates with your family and friends. Don't leave it to chance that you will be supported on your special days. Be specific and tell family and friends your dates and what support looks like on those days for you.
	Avoid the "shoulds". Be kind to yourself and don't do what people tell you you should do or what you tell yourself you should do. Do what makes you happy, no matter how unconventional.
Remember them. Listen to their music. Look at photos. Share memories. Whether you talk to a friend or family member, write a letter to your loved one, or journal, find a way to express your feelings and remember your loved one.

Happy 50th birthday Craig! I love you! I'll be at Regina's in the North End this evening with our usual - a pizza and a pitcher of beer - toasting to you. “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard” – A.A. Milne

Don't forget to share this post! And subscribe for future updates!